This week, host Dascha Polanco explores a new generation’s changing attitudes toward gender with drag superstar and actor Valentina, who joins to talk about her journey as both a performer featured in the final season of ‘La Casa de las Flores’ and a queer non-binary person deeply in love with her culture, and her faith. Brown Love is produced by @ConTodoNetflix, a social community for Latino creators and fans alike to come together and celebrate their #LatinXcellence, in collaboration with Dascha Polanco.
This week, host Dascha Polanco explores a new generation’s changing attitudes toward gender with drag superstar and actor Valentina, who joins to talk about her journey as both a performer featured in the final season of ‘La Casa de las Flores’ and a queer non-binary person deeply in love with her culture, and her faith.
Brown Love is produced by @ConTodoNetflix, a social community for Latino creators and fans alike to come together and celebrate their #LatinXcellence, in collaboration with Dascha Polanco.
[Music]
Dasha: Welcome to Brown Love, the show where we get real about all the things Latinx communities are talking about on your timeline.Brought to you by Netflix and Con Todo.I’m your host, Dasha Polanco. Each week we’ll be talking to Latinos in entertainment who are making space for our communities to see ourselves in all our complexity. Man, Woman, He, She. For a long time, mainstream society has looked at gender as a binary. You’re either one or the other. But a new generation is redefining the relationship to gender. Not just challenging the stereotypes of how men and women are supposed to look and act, but also moving beyond the idea that male and female identities are their only two options. What if gender exists on a spectrum? What if it can be fluid? In our Latino culture we’re seeing these changing attitudes reflected in the rising awareness of the term Latinx. A word that moves away from the binary Latino, Latina in favor of the gender-neutral X. Today, I’m talking to an entertainer who happily exists in this fluidity. Drag superstar Valentina, the actor, singer, best known for her appearances on RuPaul’s Drag Race can now be found in AJ and the Queen and the third and final season of La Casa de las Flores.Valentina identifies as gender non-binary meaning as neither exclusively masculine or feminine. I talked to Valentina about her queer journey, a strong Chicana pride, and the beauty of living in the fantasy of gender. Hola, mi amor, Valentia. Cómo Estás?
Valentina: [Speaks Spanish 00:01:56]
Dasha: Dónde estás?
Valentina: Estoy en mi casa en cuarentena. [Continues to speak Spanish 00:02:02]
Dasha: Ay, que bien.
Valentina: I, actually, right now I’ve been home for a long time.Some days I’m okay. Some days I’m not. But I’m actually really blessed because I got a new little kitty. I have a new baby. His name is Mochi [phonetic 00:02:17] and he’s a Persian cat. He’s eight months.
Dasha: Oh, my God.
Valentina: So, it’s been really sweet to be able to spend time with him.Because usually I’m so busy that I’m never home and I’m traveling. So, I got to do, um, some bonding with my new little family member.
Dasha: Oh, my God. I love that. I want a Persian kitty.
Valentina: I know. He’s—
Dasha: We could purr together.
Valentina: [Makes purring noise]
Dasha: I love that. Just a perfect kitty for you.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: And speaking of cuarentena, I wanted to start off by asking you, what are you eating these days at home? What’s your routine when it comes to the kitchen at home?
Valentina: Darling, I’m going to be very honest with you. Right before all of this, I was on my fitness journey for summer. I was fiercely every day having my meal preps and working out twice a day and going fierce at. Once this all happened, I was just like, I’m just eating whatever I want, to be quite honest. And I’ve been enjoying it. My days consist of being [unintelligible 00:03:08]. And I do love to cook. I’ve been doing some baking. I made a banana bread.
Dasha: Woah.
Valentina: I do this breakfast meal which is like, breakfast burritos with papas and [Speaks Spanish 00:03:20]. And you just, for breakfast.
Dasha: Wow. But…[Speaks Spanish 00:03:28] that we enjoy eating as Latinos, right?
Valentina: Ay, sí.
Dasha: Do you have a favorite Latino dish?
Valentina: Honestly, there’s too many. But I would consider tacos, like, street tacos to be one of my all-time faves.Especially—
Dasha: Oh, my God.
Valentina: …after a night of dancing. The perfect way to end the night for me is to end it with some tacos.
Dasha: Delicious. Delicious.Whatever makes you happy. Verdad?
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 000:03:55]
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative] [Laughs]
Dasha: Right?
Valentina: Yes. [Speaks Spanish 00:04:00].
Dasha: Bueno. I was on the same routine as you. I was like, look. You know, we have projects. We have to stay in tuned. And then this happened. And I’m not going to lie. It’s been a back and forth. You know, I have days where I want to eat like, Cheetos, hot Cheetos. And then there’s days that I’m like, I’m going to eat spinach and egg whites.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative] [Laughs]
Dasha: Pero, I have an air fryer. So, I’ve been doing everything in the air fryer. And I must say, it’s—
Valentina: Oh, my God.
Dasha: There’s no judgment here. This is the beauty of us. Right?That when we speak about, especially in these times, I think it’s important for us to understand that we have to do whatever makes us feel most comfortable and happy. So, for those that are out there, do you, honey. Eat what you want and just stay home. Okay?
Valentina: And you know, and you definitely, as Latinos, like, part of our culture is we celebrate life through our food. You know? And right now, like, I’m just like, you know, food to me is so comforting.
Dasha: It’s good.
Valentina: You know, it’s just so delicious. It makes me feel good. And I’m, you know, revisiting things that you still have to eat that I was not eating. And, I mean, I’m not joking about it.
Dasha: That’s right.
Valentina: I’m enjoying it actually.
Dasha: I mean, there’s a saying that says that the only food that makes you fat is the one that you guilt over.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: So… [Laughs] But that being said, I wanted to actually take this time to thank you for speaking to me. Right now, you’re a huge influence in our community. You have lit a path for all of us, and especially those of us who want to pursue what you’re doing. So, one of the things I want to start with is to ask how you identify. What name do you prefer to be addressed by? And what are your pronouns?
Valentina: Ah, gracias, mi amor. How sweet of you. It’s very rare that people are so aware of these things that you’re asking. And the level of inclusivity that you have is really special.So, I thank you. I do go by Valentina. But, you know, those in my personal life that have known me since the very beginning, I think they get the card to be able to call me James. But in my artistic life, when I did rent, I was put down as Valentina. And it’s kind of something that I have to fight for because I had my manager, my parents, people telling me, you know, you should be recognized as yourself. And then I came to realize, I didn’t work to make Valentina the big bright superstar to start from scratch as James. You know what I mean?
Dasha: Exactly.
Valentina: I definitely now that it’s like, I want to have that recognition for Valentina who pays the bills. You get what I mean? And I identify as a non-binary person. And my pronouns are definitely ‘she’ when I’m in drag. When I’m out of drag, you could call me ‘he’ or ‘she’. And I don’t mind being called ‘she’ all the time either.But if ‘he’ gets taken out of context when I’m in full drag, it does make me feel some type of way.
Dasha: I mean, I think that for those that don’t understand, the first step is to ask.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: It’s like asking somebody, what’s your name? Right?
Valentina: Aww.
Dasha: What do you like to be called? And I wanted to speak more about how the Valentina first emerged.How did you find her?
Valentina: Yeah. It’s been an incredibly long process. And it dives into my childhood. It has to do with being born male, but really being able to identify with my femininity as well. But knowing that in a Catholic and Mexican household that involves machismo, I from a very young age, knew those things were wrong. And so, from a very beginning age, I was exploring my femininity and practically doing my form of creating a persona or a character, Valentina, because I would get out of taking a bath. And I would wrap my towel around me like a long train. Or an asymmetrical Grecian gown or like, a turban.
Dasha: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Valentina: And I’d be feeling my fantasy. And then I would get in the mirror and I would interview myself. And I just knew that there was things about me that I was silencing since the very, a little age to just get by and to be safe. [Speaks Spanish 00:08:21]
Dasha: Claro!
Valentina: [Speaks Spanish 00:08:25] telling them, I watched Sábado Gigante and I would see all these little kids dancing and performing. And I told them, that’s what I want to do. You know? Meanwhile, in the mirror, interviewing myself and pretending to be a big star. And my idol was Selena.
Dasha: And let’s talk about that. Like, there’s definitely an elegancia when you speak about Valentina. And the first thing that I think about is hearing your process. For those that don’t understand, as an artist when you have these almost unobtainable goals, you are sometimes going against all the beliefs of your family. It is like a battle with the morals, values, and the way you were raised. Who were the women in your life that you looked up to despite all these restrictions, who gave you the bravery to say, ‘This is what I’m going to do, no matter what.’?
Valentina: I think it initially started with my mom. She’s a very beautiful, smart, humble woman that has had to pave a way for herself in her huge Mexican family. And she was brought to the United States and not asked to come.And taken away from the biggest love of her life which was her grandma who raised her. And in that moment, she really dove into education as her escape.And she had many struggles with learning English. And she was an ESL for a long time, even until high school. And I think it’s such a brave story that by the time that she was in her senior year, she had the kind of support, hard work ethic, and ability to just fight to get herself to be accepted in Cal Poly Pomona and UCLA as somebody who didn’t really speak English well. And so, she is the American Dream. And it lives on through me. And growing up seeing that, that is where my initial inspiration of a strong, fierce, Latina woman who can make anything happen. And so, in me, there is that inspiration of my mother and sitting down with her and watching telenovelas and old Mexican films with María Félix who’s a strong fierce woman. And admiring the Miss Universe pageant and how the Latinas would always rank in the top 20, then the top five, and then one of them would win. And those are the things that really form the inspiration of creating Valentina is those initial inspirations in my childhood. And when I was little and dancing in a mirror and interviewing myself, I was then preparing myself to become Valentina without knowing it.
Dasha: How did you come about the name Valentina? Because Valentina, to me, is such a strong name.
Valentina: Valentina derives from the root word, I think it’s valent.And it means brave. Valiente.
Dasha: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Valentina: And it’s a strong name. And a cousin of mine was pregnant. And she didn’t know if she was going to be having a boy or a girl. And so, she said, I want a strong name. If it’s a boy, [Speaks Spanish 00:11:34]. Valentina. And that was the first time that I heard the name in the context of not being a salsa.You know? Because a salsa is fabulous and I love it. And I put it on my papas. And it’s everything to me. And, you know, if there’s a difference between Caribbean Latino culture and Mexican culture, everyone always assumes that all Latinos like spicy. But that is a Mexican thing. Right?
Dasha: Yeah. Yeah.
Valentina: And so, for me, the salsa was always, kind of like, a camp funny thing. But I dreamt of this idea of Valentina being beautiful and glamorous. And when I heard that name, I was like, wow, that’s fierce.It sounds like she could be the protagonist to a telenovela. It sounds like the famous designer, Valentino, who makes these beautiful elegant red gowns. And I don’t know of anybody that is the famous one and only Valentina. And my destiny was to make that name to be the one and only famous Valentina. And I’m still working on it. But it just all clicked.
Dasha: And boy, are you doing it, honey. Boy, are you doing it. And I know it had to be something with that because what you’re representing, and what you’re giving off to me, the energy that you’re transcending through this (and if I was in person, I would be all over you right now) is bravery. Pushing through everything that’s against you via the career you choose, or via just your identity. And, you know, I know we speak about women, but I also wanted to know about the men. Are there any men that you looked up to that channeled their femininity or androgyny?
Valentina: Hm. You know, in some odd way, I’ve always found myself listening to female singers, liking a strong female lead, desiring to find the beauty in that femininity. And I was so at war with not being able to express how much I loved my femininity, or femininity in general, that I had such, I was so quiet. And I was just so focused on that feminine energy that I didn’t really identify so much with the masculinity even though it was assigned to me. Now, I embrace it. But I think there are people that are queer, or queer-adjacent people that I think I remember thinking things about what [speaks Spanish 00:14:04] made me think. You get what I mean? Seeing him come up and like, what is this gender-neutral? Things that ran through my mind. And Juan Gabriel who—
Dasha: Through all of us. I even like Juan Gabriel.
Valentina: Juan Gabriel, who was questionably part of the community and/or an ally. And those are definitely things that are in my mind that are like, could be people that, that really, kind of like, had a spark in me. But I’ve always had this admiration for women. And I’ve been able to make a career out of the art of transforming into a woman, and as a non-binary person I get to tap into that femininity and it really is a real energy for me.
Dasha: Well, you do it very well—
Valentina: Thank you.
Dasha: …I must say. And there’s nothing wrong with aligning yourself to what you believe and saying, look, I didn’t have that experience. And so, I wanted to ask you, how were you introduced to drag?
Valentina: Oh. I actually, I’m very blessed to have lived the fame experience. Like, fame high school. Like, I went to performing arts school in middle school, and in high school I went to Hollywood High. And I was part of a government-funded program called Magnet where I got to study the performing arts. So, I was always extremely eccentric once I got to that point in middle school where I was starting to develop my own individuality. And in that process, I got to meet so many different people from many different walks of life. And along the way, one of my mentors and dance teachers from high school, Mr. Long, started to yell at me, “Go Ongina! Go!”Because we would do across the floor.And I was always really good at shaize [phonetic 00:15:54] and spotting and spinning really fast. And one day, I was spinning so fast. And he was like, “Ongina! Go on Ongina! Go!” And I was like, Ongina? That sounds like vagina. Who’s that? So, I asked him. He’s like, “Oh, I’m watching this show, RuPaul’s Drag Race. And Ongina, you should look into it. I think you would like it.” And at that moment, I was not out or anything. And my teacher, Mr. Long, who I love and I adore, who was an actor and a dancer, he introduced me to the show. And I started watching the show in high school. And that’s how I, kind of, got introduced to the world of drag. And once I was 21, I started to explore drag in person by going to live drag shows and studying the drag queens and how they did their makeup and what performance they did and what kind of shoes they would wear. And I started to study them.
Dasha: And how much work it takes.
Valentina: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Dasha: And speaking of inspirational people in your live, I’ve heard you call [unintelligible 00:16:57] your drag mother.
Valentina: Yes.
Dasha: Tell us about your relationship with her and why she filled that role in your life.
Valentina: Yes. I mean, [Speaks Spanish 00:17:05] Guadalupe is where I really connect with Catholicism.It’s a very hard subject for me to talk about because I do have a big following of fans that are raised strictly Catholic.And I am in the mainstream, therefore, I have some, maybe, duty to represent that kind of spirituality and religion.And I was raised Catholic. But I am not a devoted Catholic in that sense to where there’s many things about the religion that says that it does not accept me. And so, I have to take apart the pieces for me to still have that love and that spirituality to keep myself connected and find the beauty and what I could take from it. And because there’s a lot to learn from it. And [Speaks Spanish 00:18:00] Guadalupe to me, is a very special figure to me because just the picture of her alone gives me the sense of calm and makes me want to pray. And there was a moment in my life where I was really, really depressed. And I needed to find a spiritual way to like, kind of like, drain things into existence and almost, kind of like, surrender my pain and my issues. And I would start to pray to her. And in the process of wanting my dreams to come true, I would pray to her and say, “Please lead me towards what’s for me and what is me. Don’t just give me everything I’ve ever wanted. But give me a sign or show me that I’m worthy of accomplishing something great. And in its moment and its time.” And in a sense, I felt because I would pray to her, she was my drag mom that was making me feel in some weird energy way like I could do it because things were going very well for me when I would pray. And I was ultimately praying to her to get onto RuPaul’s Drag Race. And when I made Drag Race, it was my goal and my plan that once I got a really big check, that I would fly myself all the way to Mexico City and go to her cathedral and take her roses, if that was going to happen for me. And in the moment that that happened, I went to Mexico City and I took her roses to say thank you. So, that’s how much of spirituality that I have created for myself on my own terms. But I’m not a devoted catholic that, you know, goes to church and all that because it’s very complicated for me—
Dasha: Of course.
Valentina: …to do that.
Dasha: I think it’s complicated for a lot of us. I was raised Catholic. I mean, communion, [Speaks Spanish 00:19:53], the confirmation. I did the whole thing. You know, I was supposed to be a virgin before marriage. You know? You know what I mean?
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: But little did they know [unintelligible 00:20:02]—
Valentina: [Screams/Laughs] Yeah.
Dasha: There I go. I can’t get married.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: But the point is that Catholicism is huge in my community as well. You know, there’s a lot of things that as I speak to my guests, I discover that we have a lot of things in common. And one of my biggest moments in fashion was when I wore, the blondes had this long jacket/trench coat. And it had the [Speaks Spanish 00:20:32] Guadalupe in the back. And I remember that, for that fashion season, I was so scared of, nothing fit, first of all. And I wore this body suit underneath. And I was so scared of opening my jacket because I was like, cónchale, my legs.If you’re going to see everything.You know? And those are what we go through, our insecurities. [Speaks Spanish 00:20:54] I undid my jacket. And I walked with my thighs and [Speaks Spanish 00:21:00] Guadalupe. And of course, people were like, oh, how dare you wear [Speaks Spanish 00:21:03] Guadalupe and have your legs our and all this stuff. And I got some of that. But I also got a lot of love from the community saying, ‘Go!’ ‘You go.’ ‘You embrace that and you love that body that God gave you.’ [Speaks Spanish 00:21:14] Whatever it is, you don’t necessarily have to be there. But you have to have that spiritual guidance. And think it’s a beautiful thing that you have her as a guidance and that you keep that spiritual guidance. Because what you dedicate yourself to and who you believe and you manifest, right, to be is given from above. It’s not something that you just create. Right? It comes from somewhere. I wanted to take a special time out to speak about your mom because your mom, you’re very close to your mom. And like, I would love to know more about that relationship when it comes to Valentina and su mamá.
Valentina: First and foremost, my mom is stunning. And she has this extremely charismatic personality.She’s very silly, very funny. But she also is somebody which you should be scared of when she gets mad at you because she’s serious. And she’s really smart. And so, I think growing up, I would see that in her, that I absolutely admired her and thought she was so beautiful. So, she had this power, you know? And so, my relationship admiring her goes back to like, seeing her get ready for work.And in those moments where she would get ready for work, I would sit down on the bed like this with my little legs going back and forth. I just really started to, kind of, just admire her so much. Like, I almost like, wanted to be her. And so, my relationship with her—
Dasha: You emulated her. I mean…
Valentina: Yeah. And so, I really admire my mom so much. And she has been such an example of why I’ve been able to like, emulate his strong Latina woman. And it all starts with her.
Dasha: That’s beautiful. So, you have any male relatives that were as accepting as your mom was?
Valentina: My nino, my Godfather. He always really supported me because I would get caught singing in the corner sometimes.And he was someone that told me, like, “Mijo, you sing really good. Like, you should keep singing. And let me show you all this music of The Beetles.” Because he really loved The Beetles. And then I had a tio of mine. There’s nobody queer in my family. I’m the only one. And mind you, my family is huge. My family is huge. Okay?And so, but talent does run in my family. And so, I had an uncle that was a painter. And he used to make pottery. And so, oftentimes, I would spend a lot of time with him. And he would, kind of like, kind of, mentor me with my artistic abilities with colors and textures and he really helped me hone my idea of being an artist at a very young age. My tio, Adrian.
Dasha: Oh, your tio, Arian. So, we’re safe to say that you captured moments and things, and you drew things from your mom, from your tio to help you develop Valentina. Are there anything in specific that you used to develop Valentina.Like, any qualities from your mom?Anything from your tio, from people that actually supported you forward?
Valentina: I mean, I think I would say it’s my ability to make people feel special. And part of my duty and all this platform that I have, what does it mean if you’re not sharing that gift? What’s all that sparkle and shine if you just take the energy in and just feel entitled?You really have to… A star will always shine. And part of your gift of being a star is to make people feel special and to make people feel like they’re a star too. To see the beauty in everyone. And I really got that from my mom. And it was not just the way in which she treated me. I was a very quiet little kid. And I just noticed how people respected her. I noticed how people came to her with their problems and give them words of hope. And she was always silly. And she could get really serious and really get to the point with you in a very psychological way. But at the end of it, put a cherry on top with a little joke and you feel refreshed.And so, I have this ability with people that goes beyond just Valentina, but just ability to connect with people that I took from my mom, that charisma, and that that ability to connect.
Dasha: She did a great job. I think that the way you speak so eloquently and just who you are, I must say that—
Valentina: Aw, you’re so sweet. I want to give you like, the biggest hug.Air hug.
Dasha: You can have a bunch of cherries. You see, I know how to do it too. I know how to put my cherries on. You see? I mean, what a great way to start speaking about your career and where it is. I mean, learning so much about you, I’m so excited for you. I’m rooting for you, baby. I want you to win.
Valentina: Aw, you too, boo. And like, honestly, like, I wanted to say this like, way before. But I honestly, watching you on Orange Is the New Black, like, instantly a fan. And the moment that we worked together, which we’ll talk about later, I was so excited to be able to work so closely with you. And I have so much admiration for your work and—
Dasha: Oh, my God.
Valentina: …the kind of authenticity that you have with your acting. Like, I feel everything. And working with you, you are a magical person in every single thing that you do. And it’s so inspiring.
Dasha: Thank you. Now, let’s talk about La Casa de las Flores on Netflix.
Valentina: Yes, babe.
Dasha: What was your experience on this show? Talk to me. I want to know more.
Valentina: Well, it all started with me being a big fan of Season One.And I play the role of the Queen of the Cabaret, the new manager of La Casa de las Flores. And I’m on multiple episodes. And it was a dream come true because growing up watching telenovelas and being on this successful Netflix series that is like, a current version of what a telenovela should be with like, current [unintelligible 00:27:23] issues in the world was like, a dream come true because I’d grown up knowing all that that [unintelligible 00:27:29] telenovela drama, you know?
Dasha: Mi amor, me too. I mean, [unintelligible 00:27:34] and all that. Come on, come on.
Valentina: Yeah. Ow.[Laughs] For real. So, to me, it’s a dream come true to be involved in something so magical and to like, live that Telenovela fantasy to its fullest.
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:27:47] Hello. So, we do love a Telenovela. And obviously, that, look. This is all the beginning for you. It’s all the beginning. Casa de Flores. Now you’re living your Telenovela fantasy. Were you pursuing acting before drag?
Valentina: I have done a little musical theatre which involved acting in high school. I was in Beauty and the Beast, the musical in my senior year. And I got to play, can you believe it, I was the Beast.
Dasha: You were the Beast?
Valentina: I don’t know how—
Dasha: Pero, you look more like Belle, mi amor.
Valentina: I mean, look at me, girl. I could have been in the yellow gown and everything doing a better job than Emma, what’s her name?
Dasha: [Laughs]
Valentina: Girl, I—no. And when she was in the ball gown, you know in that era she needed a corset. She needed that waist to be so snatch because, you know, those gowns need that corsetry like…
Dasha: Bueno.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: You know, fajas is our thing in the Latin community. [Speaks Spanish 00:28:50]
Valentina: Valentinas love a faja.But you know who in our community does the best faja?
Dasha: Quién?
Valentina: Las Columbianos.
Dasha: Las Columbianos.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:29:00]
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative] [Laughs]
Dasha: [Laughs] I love a cors-, I love a faja, mi amor. People ask me about my waist.
Valentina: Oh, really?
Dasha: This is our Latin in us where we’re like, oh, my gosh, we’re just excited because we’re talking about fajas. Let me tell you. When I was little… When I was like, you know, I want to say like, 10 years old. When I first started like, developing, mi amor, [Speaks Spanish 00:29:23]. And I had my faja. My faja.And I would go to sleep with my faja, honey. Like, I made people, like, why do you have that waist? I was like, I was born with it. But, yes, I will wear my faja every night to go to sleep, baby. So, I know.
Valentina: That is so fierce. I know a lot about fajas because my mom and all my tias, they would get together and they would do these things. Like, they would order from catalogs and they would have Tupperware parties, and they would have Princess House parties. Princess House was like, this like, fine crystal, like, kitchenware. And then Tupperware.
Dasha: Yes.
Valentina: And then they would get together. And they would have this catalog of fajas. And they would have the version for working out, the version for waist training, the comfortable every day one, the one that would pop out your butt. And they were always fajas Colombianas. And—
Dasha: Columbiana, mi amor.
Valentina: Yeah. And they would be like, little samples of the fabric. They’re like, ooh. That one will get you, girl.
Dasha: Now they don’t do that. Now they don’t do that. They used to like [unintelligible 00:30:23] elasticity. [Speaks Spanish 00:30:27].
Valentina: [Laughs]
Dasha: I wanted to speak a little bit about the appearance on Drag Race and, you know, did it change your view of success, especially as a Latinx person? Can you speak a little bit about that? Like, what was your experience there? And—
Valentina: As far as like, did it change my idea of what success was?
Dasha: Yeah.
Valentina: Definitely. My life changed completely after that. Instantly, as, because, you know, where my career started and where I was discovered was through the realm of reality television. You know?I was not playing somebody. I was not… I was being myself in a competition. And then I think, what happens is people, then they feel so connected with not just your work, but how you process life and take a challenge and tell your story. And how I involved my culture into my drag. And at the moment, I was very much-so an average like, young Latino queer person that had a retail job. But I did have these big dreams. And I was not ever prepared to know what it’s like to be recognized and have a super-crazy busy schedule. And to have everything that you do under like, a microscope.
Dasha: Yeah. Exactly.
Valentina: It put my private life forward, and it gave me now, this big responsibility. And things changed. And I didn’t have time for the things that I really love because I was always working and not seeing my family. And I was on tour. And dealing with learning how to deal with social media. And taking every single opportunity that came—
Dasha: It’s a process. Yeah.
Valentina: …my way. And it was so extremely overwhelming. So, it was definitely the entire process to get to the point now where I appreciate it.I love it. It’s my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It does, sometimes, I do wish I had more privacy. But, sweetie, you wanted to be a star. Well, here you go. Hey.And so—
Dasha: Exactly.
Valentina: …you know, I’ve actually learned that the hard way. And I’ve had really difficult challenges thrown my way.But I’ve dealt with it the best the I could. And I’m at the very start of a career where I want to keep pushing it. Like, girl, like, I want to accomplish so many big dreams in this lifetime that, to many people, it might not be realistic. But, girl, I’ve got to die trying. You know?
Dasha: And, guess what? And, guess what? It all comes with it. But you’re strong enough to handle it because you’re Valentina. Right?
Valentina: Aww.
Dasha: And that’s what it is.
Valentina: Thank you, baby.
Dasha: So, all that comes with it. It’s a process. You’re learning. You’re doing it well. You take it how it comes. But you’re moving forward. [Speaks Spanish 00:33:23] Okay?
Valentina: Thank you, baby. You’re so sweet.
Dasha: Ay, gracias, mi amor. Everything is from here. I want to talk about the main theme of our episode. Gender. And the term, non-binary. Explain to me what that means for you and how you identify.
Valentina: Okay.
Dasha: Teach me. Educate me. Right?
Valentina: I really think that my form of activism is through visibility.So, I can only explain things how I see them and feel them in my mind and in my heart. And the way that I would describe non-binary for me is that I don’t identify fully with either gender. And I’m also, as a non-binary person, I do fall in LGBTQ, plus I do fall under the T, the Trans umbrella. And so, what that means is that I am very much-so tapping into my masculinity and my femininity. And it’s constantly shifting. For someone like me, whether I have to put male or female, like, on an application, it really does, like, do something to me. And a non-binary person is somebody that just does not want to conform to the way that it has been engrained in our mind to identify by society. It’s a spectrum.
Dasha: I just don’t understand why certain things are asked anyway on applications. And why are certain things like, I don’t like when people ask my age. You know what I mean? Like, you don’t need to know my age. Like, you don’t need to put that out there either. Like, let me deal with my agism. Let me deal with my identity. Let me deal with who I am.
Valentina: Yes. For real.
Dasha: You know, partnering up with. So, for me, it’s important that you explain that because we have to understand that identify is very important to us and who we identify with must be respected and must be accepted whether you like it, don’t understand—
Valentina: Yes.
Dasha: …it or not. We just have to accept for what it is.
Valentina: And then, knowing the difference between identity and sexuality.You know?
Dasha: Yeah, exactly.
Valentina: And knowing the history of us as brown people and people of color. Our cultures, many, many years ago involved so many different types of genders. In Mexico, in Oaxaca, they have the muxes.And in India, they have their own version of that. And I think what colonization did, it just kind of erased those people. And it’s in our minds. And so, I don’t like the idea of being told who I am. I like introducing myself to people as what I feel and who I am and describing it to them. And usually when I have the opportunity to get to know people on a personal level, and they’re inquisitive, and they’re respectful, I’m able to have those kinds of conversations. And for now, like, what I feel is my ability to help is through visibility and being an example as a person in the workforce, being non-binary and being my authentic self.
Dasha: And that’s all it takes. Right?
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative]
[Music]
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:36:40] Today, our conversations about gender have entered the mainstream. A defined gender rules is nothing new. Yeah. Just look at legendary Mexican singer, Chavela Vargas. As a young woman in the 1940’s, Chavela scandalized society by dressing like a man, drinking heavily, smoking cigars, and carrying a gun – things proper women at the time didn’t do. She eventually rose to fame as a ranchera singer, carving out a space in a macho genre traditional sung by men only. Chavela was known for her passionate interpretations and refusing to swap out the female pronouns in the love songs she sang. The singer/songwriter recorded more than 80 albums. Becoming close friends with Frida Kahlo, not surprised.And later, amuse for the director of Pedro Almodóvar. Today, she’s revered by queer Latinx with some burning societies long-held gender norms and following the beat of her own drum. Chavela proved that success wasn’t dependent on fitting into a particular box, especially for her own community. She would have celebrated her 101st birthday in April. And that that, mi gente, is your quick dose of Latino history. [Speaks Spanish 00:37:58].
[Music]
Dasha: Of course, after all this, we have to have to have some fun.Right?
Valentina: All right.
Dasha: And I have a game.
Valentina: Yay.
Dasha: Yes, I have a game called—Hello. Bring out the champagne, ladies.
Valentina: All right.
Dasha: [Laughs]
Valentina: You’re so much fun.
Dasha: I wanted to start the first game called Brown Love.And you have to answer quickly.Let’s get into some burro brown love.So, the first one is: Do you have any crazy DM slides?
Valentina: DM slides?
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:38:37].
Valentina: Oh, I’ve got it. Girl, RuPaul’s Drag Race is so big and major in Brazil. And Brazilian fans love to just send you nudes just because.And sometimes these guys are just so fine that I do not mind. I mean…
Dasha: [Laugh] Now, have you heard of Zoom dating, Zoom orgies, and that kind of stuff?
Valentina: I have not. But I would find it quite interesting to be on a first date via Zoom. That would be very interesting.
Dasha: I would love to participate in something like that.Like, what do you do, right?
Valentina: Like, it starts out via text. And we both agree that we’re going to sit down and eat a Trader Joe’s Chicken Tikka Masala together with a glass of sauvignon blanc. And we’re both going to eat the same thing so that we could describe the texture and the flavor together.
Dasha: I love sauvignon blanc.
Valentina: Yes.
Dasha: But I like—ooh, yes. But I like the truffle pasta.
Valentina: Oh, yes.
Dasha: With linguini clam [Speaks Spanish 00:39:41]. I want to play another game with you called [Speaks Spanish 00:39:43] Con Todo.
Valentina: Okay, okay.
Dasha: And the whole idea is, what are you listening to right now?
Valentina: Oh. Right now, I’m listening to the Cranberries, to Kate Bush. Right now, I’m having a moment with Gloria Trevi’s music from the eighties. And I’m always listening to [unintelligible 00:40:06]. Always.
Dasha: Now, I just, I also heard that Valentina just released your own track.
Valentina: Of course.
Dasha: Is that true?
Valentina: Yes. It is very true. I have my new, my second single that I co-wrote with a friend of mine. And it was produced by a musical engineer named Ajeer. [phonetic 00:40:26] And my friend Ilka helped me write the song. And it’s called All Eyes on Me. And it’s a fierce, kind of, summer dance, kind of… I imagine it being like, a Latino pop hit. And I just cannot wait to like, have the moment where I can go out and celebrate and ask to be, hey, put my song on and dance the night away.
Dasha: Make sure that you support that track out, people. What’s the name of it, so they know?
Valentina: All Eyes on Me.
Dasha: All Eyes on Me. Valentina.What song always makes you sad?
Valentina: [Speaks Spanish 00:40:59].
Dasha: Ay, Dios mío.
Valentina: Hm-hmm. [affirmative] [Laughs]
Dasha: What song makes you want to get it on?
Valentina: Rihanna. Sex With Me. Or Sade, Is It A Crime? It’s just so like, stripper-licious. And it just makes me want to just like, slowly undress.
Dasha: You about to make me get it on, honey. Hold on.
Valentina: [Laughs]
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:41:23]?
Valentina: [Speaks Spanish 00:41:25].
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:41:31] And what’s a song that reminds you of your parents?
Valentina: My dad. He’s really into classic rock. And whenever I hear The Eagles, or just Hotel California, I think of my dad.
Dasha: And that, my love, concludes the gaming section—
Valentina: Yay! [Claps]
Dasha: …of our interview.And—
Valentina: I’m so bad at games, girl.
Dasha: No. It’s fine, honey. This is—there’s no judgment here. There’s no good or bad. This is having fun, having discussion, and allowing people to get to know you more. And gaining the support of all of us. So…
Valentina: Aw, thank you, babe.
Dasha: Thank you for your flexibility. Thank you for, you know, being as vulnerable and open to having these discussions with us and educating us in such a beautiful enlightening way.And I am rooting for you all the way, Valentina.
Valentina: Aw, you’re so sweet.
Dasha: [Speaks Spanish 00:42:24] Valentina, beautiful as she is during quarantine. Honey, you’re killing it in quarantine. It’s been such a pleasure and an honor. And please go support her track, All Eyes on Me.
Valentina: Thank you, babe.
Dasha: Go watch Season Three of La Casa de las Flores. Anything else?
Valentina: In the Heights. Together with you.
Dasha: Honey, yes. And In the Heights, my love. You will see much more of her. But I need you to do one thing for our Latin community. And I want you to send them a message. Send them some enlightenment, some hope in these times and for the future of our community.
Valentina: Sure. I think that what is really powerful and really feeling secure, confident, and safe, and really, just being your true authentic self. And part of that journey, what would really help and what’s really helped me is sometimes we’re not accepted with our birth family, you know, our blood family. And it’s okay to go out and find your chosen family, your tribe of people. And once you do find those people that are on your same level and speak the same language, and you guys share dreams and support each other, and really understand and create your own purpose on this earth. And really feel of purpose, and having that support in finding your tribe is one of the most powerful things you can do. I personally have a community of really, really, really amazing friends that we see eye to eye because we share so much in common. And they’re all Mexican, American, Latino queers that are all talented and in the industry. And I consider them my family. We all call each other, ‘Hey, sis.’ ‘Hi, sister.’ And so, to me, that is my family. And it’s one of the most beautiful things that I have because if I, Valentina, lose everything and, God forbid, I will still have that tribe and that family to catch me and to make me feel loved. And it’s the most empowering thing that I have of value, or has, actually, no value to me.And I think that’s something that could really help somebody out there if they really feel lost.
Dasha: Okay. There you have it, my people of the world and the Latino community. We all family. So, find your family. Find your group.
Valentina: Yes.
Dasha: And just stay true to yourself, honey.
Valentina: That’s right.
Dasha: Love you.
Valentina: I love you too, baby.
Dasha: Brown Love.
[Music]
Dasha: This show was produced by Netflix, Con Todo, and me, Dasha Polanco. If you like what you heard, be sure to rate and subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And don’t forget to follow Con Todo Netflix on Instagram and Twitter for all things Latin excellence on Netflix. Also, follow me @sheisdash. I’ve been your host, Dasha Polanco. [Speaks Spanish 00:45:26] [Blows kiss]
[End of audio]